When you're a parent you want your children to have good friends.
Here's a simple test to see if your child is playing with a real friend, or an alien in human form that claims they come in peace to hide the fact that their mission is to consume and destroy.
Write down your answers since it will determine what your course of action should be.
When your child brings their friend over to play, the friend...
A. plays with your child like a normal human.
B. wanders off into your kitchen to consume three family size bags of chips.
C. wanders off into your kitchen to consume three family size bags of chips and then proceeds to your movie closet to destroy your entire VHS movie collection.
It's dinner time and time for the friend to leave so you can have family dinner. When you tell the friend it's time to go home...
A. The friend says ok and happily leaves.
B. The friend says, "I don't need to go home. I'll just eat here." (Which seems strange to you since he/she already consumed three family size bags of chips)
C. The friend says, "I don't need to go home. I'll just eat here. I was told to wait here till the mothership arrives."
If you answered A to the two previous questions you can skip the next two questions, your child's friend has passed the True Friend Test.
You're at home when the alien being pretending to be your child's best friend stops by and rings the door bell.
A. You answer the door and politely ask the alien humanoid to get off your property.
B. You ignore the door in the hopes that the humanoid will leave.
C. You ignore the door in the hopes that the humanoid will leave... but the humanoid remains on your door step and continues to ring the door bell every ten minutes for the next two hours until you hear a loud noise, similar to that of a flying saucer, and then everything goes quiet.
The fourth and final question.
Your child comes home after school and says his/her humanoid in the vague shape of a friend threw their plush Simba onto the roof at school. You should...
A. Tell your child to immediately end friendship with humanoid being pretending to be his/her friend.
B. Follow the humanoid to their home planet and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
If you answered A to the last question you'll probably be ok. The humanoid should realize you're onto it's plan and will try to befriend a different child.
If you answered B make sure whatever you're flying has light speed capabilities to outrun the blast.
I chose A after I retrieved Emily's Simba from the roof at school.
Write down your answers since it will determine what your course of action should be.
When your child brings their friend over to play, the friend...
A. plays with your child like a normal human.
B. wanders off into your kitchen to consume three family size bags of chips.
C. wanders off into your kitchen to consume three family size bags of chips and then proceeds to your movie closet to destroy your entire VHS movie collection.
It's dinner time and time for the friend to leave so you can have family dinner. When you tell the friend it's time to go home...
A. The friend says ok and happily leaves.
B. The friend says, "I don't need to go home. I'll just eat here." (Which seems strange to you since he/she already consumed three family size bags of chips)
C. The friend says, "I don't need to go home. I'll just eat here. I was told to wait here till the mothership arrives."
If you answered A to the two previous questions you can skip the next two questions, your child's friend has passed the True Friend Test.
You're at home when the alien being pretending to be your child's best friend stops by and rings the door bell.
A. You answer the door and politely ask the alien humanoid to get off your property.
B. You ignore the door in the hopes that the humanoid will leave.
C. You ignore the door in the hopes that the humanoid will leave... but the humanoid remains on your door step and continues to ring the door bell every ten minutes for the next two hours until you hear a loud noise, similar to that of a flying saucer, and then everything goes quiet.
The fourth and final question.
Your child comes home after school and says his/her humanoid in the vague shape of a friend threw their plush Simba onto the roof at school. You should...
A. Tell your child to immediately end friendship with humanoid being pretending to be his/her friend.
B. Follow the humanoid to their home planet and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
If you answered A to the last question you'll probably be ok. The humanoid should realize you're onto it's plan and will try to befriend a different child.
If you answered B make sure whatever you're flying has light speed capabilities to outrun the blast.
I chose A after I retrieved Emily's Simba from the roof at school.
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